Are You Making These Common Humble Leadership Mistakes?
Are you confident in your leadership abilities, yet somehow feeling disconnected from your team? Do you find yourself wondering why engagement seems low despite your best efforts? You might be making some common humble leadership mistakes that are sabotaging your effectiveness without you even realizing it.
The truth is, even well-intentioned leaders can fall into traps that undermine their impact. In my book "Sinking the Showboat: How to Coach Oneself in the Art and Passion of Humble Leadership," I explore how the very behaviors we think make us strong leaders can actually sink our leadership ship. Let's dive into the most common mistakes and, more importantly, how you can avoid them.
Mistake #1: Letting Your Position Inflate Your Ego
Are you making everything about you instead of your team's success? This is perhaps the most dangerous mistake you can make as a leader. When your position starts to inflate your ego, you begin to see yourself as the star of the show rather than the director helping others shine.
Here's what ego-driven leadership looks like:
- Taking credit for team wins
- Getting defensive when challenged
- Making decisions without input
- Feeling threatened by talented team members
- Positioning yourself as the hero in every story
The reality is that leadership at its heart should focus on enabling team success, not positioning yourself as the center of everything. When you let ego take the wheel, you're essentially turning your leadership into a showboat – all flash and spectacle, but missing the substance that creates lasting impact.
Your action step: Start each week by asking yourself, "How can I set my team members up for success this week?" Make their growth your primary focus, not your own recognition.
Mistake #2: Refusing to Admit Mistakes or Apologize
Do you struggle to say "I was wrong" or "I'm sorry"? Many leaders fear that admitting mistakes makes them appear weak, but the opposite is actually true. When you refuse to acknowledge your errors, you create a culture where everyone else becomes afraid to take risks or admit their own mistakes.
The cost of this mistake includes:
- Eroded trust with your team
- Missed learning opportunities
- A culture of blame and fear
- Stunted personal growth
- Reduced team innovation
Think about the leaders who have had the greatest impact on your life. Chances are, they were people who could own their mistakes with grace and humility. As I discuss in "Sinking the Showboat," true leadership strength comes from vulnerability, not from maintaining a perfect facade.
Your breakthrough moment: The next time you make a mistake, resist the urge to cover it up or make excuses. Instead, acknowledge it openly, take responsibility, and share what you learned. Watch how this transforms your team's respect for you.
Mistake #3: Blaming Others Instead of Taking Ownership
When things go wrong, is your first instinct to find who's at fault? Weak leaders blame when mistakes happen, always finding fault with someone or something else. But here's the thing – when you blame others, you lose the ability to make change since it's "someone else's fault."
Strong leaders ask different questions:
- "How could I have prepared my team better?"
- "What systems or processes need improvement?"
- "Where did my communication fall short?"
- "What can I do differently next time?"
Taking ownership doesn't mean taking blame for everything – it means taking responsibility for the environment, systems, and support you provide. When you shift from blame to ownership, you gain the power to actually improve the situation.
Your coaching challenge: For the next month, every time something goes wrong, spend 80% of your energy on what you could have done differently and only 20% on external factors. This single shift will revolutionize your leadership effectiveness.
Mistake #4: Making Up Answers When You Don't Know
Are you afraid to say "I don't know"? Many leaders feel pressure to have all the answers, leading them to fabricate responses rather than admit to uncertainty. This is not only dangerous for decision-making but also damages your credibility when the truth eventually comes out.
The dangers of fake expertise:
- Poor decisions based on incomplete information
- Lost credibility with your team
- Missed opportunities for collaborative problem-solving
- Creating a culture where others feel pressured to know everything
- Preventing real learning and growth
Confident leaders readily admit when they don't know something and seek the answer together with their team. This admission actually makes you look more human and gives you a chance to grow alongside your people.
Your honesty practice: This week, when someone asks you something you don't know, try responding with, "That's a great question. I don't have that information right now, but let's figure it out together." Notice how this response often leads to better solutions and stronger team engagement.
Mistake #5: Focusing on Personal Goals Over Team Success
Do your personal ambitions overshadow your team's needs? Poor leaders focus on themselves, with their own agenda superseding that of the organization and their team. This self-serving approach becomes particularly toxic when you view your team's success as competition rather than collaboration.
Signs you might be making this mistake:
- Getting upset when team members outperform you
- Hoarding opportunities instead of sharing them
- Taking on high-visibility projects yourself instead of developing others
- Measuring success by your personal advancement rather than team outcomes
- Making decisions based on what looks good for you
Remember, in "Sinking the Showboat," the showboat captain who makes it all about the show ultimately sinks the whole vessel. True leadership means being willing to step back and let others shine.
Your team-first commitment: Identify one opportunity this month that you could give to a team member instead of taking for yourself. Watch how this investment in their growth ultimately benefits the entire organization.
Mistake #6: Wasting Your Leadership Capital
Are you spending your influence on the wrong battles? Leadership capital – the trust and credibility you've built with your team – takes time to build but can be lost quickly through misguided decisions and poor communication. Every decision requires asking yourself whether you're willing to spend significant leadership capital on a particular issue.
Common ways leaders waste their capital:
- Fighting battles that don't matter
- Being inconsistent with values and decisions
- Over-communicating minor issues while under-communicating major ones
- Making promises they can't keep
- Engaging in petty conflicts or office politics
Your capital preservation strategy: Before making any significant decision or having a difficult conversation, ask yourself: "Is this worth spending my leadership capital on?" and "Will I be proud of how I handled this in six months?"
The Path Forward: Embracing True Humble Leadership
Humility isn't weakness – it's strength under control. It's not about lacking bold vision or an inability to make decisions. Rather, it's the ability to not see yourself as the center of everything and the willingness to rely on strength beyond yourself.
When you embrace humble leadership, you create an environment where:
- Your team feels safe to take risks and make mistakes
- Trust deepens between you and your people
- Innovation flourishes because people aren't afraid to share ideas
- Organizational culture strengthens from the top down
- Real, sustainable growth happens
Your next steps to avoid these mistakes:
- Practice daily self-reflection – End each day by asking what you did to serve your team's growth
- Seek feedback regularly – Create safe spaces for honest input about your leadership
- Celebrate others publicly – Make team wins about the team, not about your leadership
- Admit when you're wrong quickly – The faster you own mistakes, the faster you can move forward
- Invest in others' success – Measure your success by how well your team members grow and advance
The journey of humble leadership isn't about perfection – it's about progress. Every day offers new opportunities to choose service over self-promotion, vulnerability over ego protection, and team success over personal glory.
Are you ready to sink the showboat and embrace leadership that truly serves others? The choice is yours, and your team is watching to see which direction you'll steer.
Remember, the best leaders aren't remembered for how bright they shined, but for how many others they helped to shine. That's the essence of humble leadership – and it starts with recognizing and correcting these common mistakes in your own leadership journey.
Coach Chando | Chad Blando
Executive Coach • Adjunct Professor • Author • Leadership Strategist
30+ years in leadership & management coaching.
Author of Sinking the Showboat: How to Coach Oneself in the Art and Passion of Humble Leadership.